hello tiny part of the world
I'm launching this mini-blog in a new place. I've faffed around for years with writing. I have reams of notes and fragments and notes titled 'fragments,' I have essays in draft and archived status, I have Google docs and handwritten journals and all sorts of things. And I rarely publish.
I know why, for the most part. I'm beset by perfectionism. I am also cursed a little by knowing too much about what works and what doesn't online. I've been a marketer for so long that it's very instinctive for me to push something toward a definition, a purpose, a measurable goal.
I've also been a workaholic that struggles with burnout, and that makes me view my side projects and creative endeavours (like writing) through a ruthless lens. They have to be for or about something, serving some higher goal. Otherwise, why am I bothering? That's valuable energy that could be focused on something else.
But what has happened is that I end up in this sort of perpetual state of paralysis. I write so freely on my own, and I rarely write about marketing, and probably the worst thing I could do to myself is try to write in service of my earned income. That feels oppressive. I've always been the kind of person who ambles between obsessions and interests, and although I have my consistent areas of focus (the things upon which I base my living, and some running themes), I'm often 'on about' one thing or another.
This is an annoying sort of character to possess if you're trying to wrangle your work into a legible little format that can be packaged and consumed. Who am I, and what am I doing, and why should you care?
I see now that I really rob myself of the fruits of regular creative expression. Even if I have few, if any, readers — to be able to get my thoughts down in writing, and push them out there, and little by little overcome my sense of resistance — that's gotta be worth something.
So I'm going to stop worrying about everything and just post again. If for no other reason than to carve 'kristin wuz here' in some far-flung corner of the internet.
I'm setting up this little shop for random musings over here, away from the algo-fied essay factory of Substack (about which I have many good things to say, but .... the culture over there is starting to feel a bit constraining).
Here's a place for my little fragments and ideas, in an earlier-internet format that feels more suitable for my purpose. Or lack thereof.
Welcome xo